Jurassic World

Jurassic World

Rated PG-13

Running Time: 124 minutes

Directed by: Colin Trevorrow

Starring: Nick Robinson, Ty Simpkins, Bryce Dallas Howard, Chris Pratt, Indominus Rex, Raptors, Irrfan Khan, BD Wong, and featuring T-Rex

Plot: While a Jurassic Park employee’s nephews are visiting her, a dinosaur hybrid escapes its containment cell and decides to learn whether or not it’s really, really good at killing things. Now it’s up to the park’s resident dinosaur trainer and his pack of domesticated Raptors to hunt it down before it gobbles up everybody on the island.

Review: This movie was only two absurd decisions away from being my favorite movie of all time. Don’t be fooled, this is a B-movie, regardless of what anyone says. To put it simply, this movie is unprecedented levels of crazy. Jurassic World is to Jurassic Park what Deep Blue Sea is to Jaws.

In this, the fourth installment of the series, scientists have created a genetically altered dinosaur hybrid called Indominus Rex, named so because, according to the movie scientist, “it sounds cool.” The exact genetic makeup of the dinosaur is revealed piecemeal throughout the movie (spoilers ahead) and we find out by the end that, genetically speaking, this dinosaur is equal parts Tyrannosaur, plot device, and malicious dickbag. If the dinosaur were a kid playing superheroes on the playground the power she (all dinosaurs are female, remember?) chose would be “all of them.” I know I’m stuck on this, but the dinosaur is a straight-up supervillain (Rex Luthor, if you will). That alone is reason enough to see this movie.

Other things this movie features include: Locations of and characters from Jurassic Park (No, no cameos from anyone you care about); Chris Pratt teaming up with Raptors to fight the evil dinosaur; A dinosaur doing a dramatic action movie walk-away from an explosion; Raptors betraying the fragile human-raptor alliance; A woman getting killed Final Destination-style by a Rube Goldberg device of dinosaurs; Bryce-Dallas Howard running (quite successfully) in heels; the Raptors having a change of conscience and reforming the human-raptor alliance (the raptors are really the only ones with a satisfying character arc); and finally, a number of surprisingly heavy subplots that are introduced only to never be brought up again in any significant way.

This movie really is a cocktail of awesome special effects and a hilariously bad writing choices. In my opinion the film could have done entirely without any plot involving the children (who are, arguably, the main characters) and their parents. Also, the exposition in the film couldn’t be worse if it were being delivered while looking straight into the camera. In summation, if you like watching bad movies as much as I do, go see this immediately. If not, I’d say take a pass and go see Love and Mercy instead. I haven’t seen it yet, but it’s got John Cusack in it and that’s enough for me.

Edit: I did eventually see Love and Mercy, so feel free to check out that review too.

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